Regrets, I've had a few, then again.....

If anyone asks me in the future about what I regret about not doing Honours, I would say I regret being unable to do Special Paper in Military History taught by Brain Farrell. I met him that other day at BK. I asked him about the Korean excursion for this module, which students went with him to visit Korean War battlefields. We chatted abit while we waited for our orders. I told him I have been waiting for his military modules for 3 years since I missed it in my 1st yr 1st sem. He asked if im doing honours and for my CAP, which stressed me out LOL. His parting words was 'It's in your hands'. At that moment I felt I had let him down. Looking back, i wasnt really a great student, esp so among my peers in uni, but also in itself, im the lazy student all along. It is great to be able to study in uni, all the ideas and concepts, simply amazing (esp what profs do for their Phds n all). It is also the greatest irony of my life (as of now) to be able to study in FASS n my major. My grades sux but I realised I learned alot as well and met interesting ppl, ppl who are far far more dedicated about their work. Haha sometimes i spent far more time during semester learning about other bits of history other than the modules im doing for. (esp hist vids on youtube). One thing i enjoyed doing assignments is learning the extra bits about history and I regretted being unable to do. I feel terrible about missing out all the knowledge and the little tidbits about life and people that I always read about. That day I sat among the shelves (D-DS rows) and sobbed alittle. I felt all the energies and efforts in writing these books are wasted cus I didnt push myself harder to read them. It's always tomorrow, 2ml, 2morrow, tomolo and tomorrow. Well tomorrow came, today went and yesterday lost. Haha but im glad i was able to help others along the way even if i cannot help myself....