Why huh?

Why would this vehicle, a VW Kombi, made me go 'Wow',

instead of this, an Audi TT?

Was going home from sch on bus heading towards MRT, when the Audi pulled up beside the window, ah an Audi, nice. Green Light. The Audi moved ahead, then the Kombi followed behind and 'Wow'! Is it because that I will never afford the Audi hence this reaction? Hardly the case, if I liked the Audi in the first place I would go 'wow' and not take another glance at the Kombi, bleah just another old beatup weird looking vehicle. So why is the Kombi so appealing to me, (as well as the Mini, as some would know that about me) instead of something that is probably 10 times the cost, that is like the dreamcar of like so many people? Have I readjusted even my dreams and wants to suit reality? Or is it a lifestyle choice? Or in this case, not much of a choice since I prob wud nt afford the Audi ever haha. Why would I place a sense of adventure into the Kombi instead of the Audi? Is it just me reacting against the general materialism prevalent in society, that deeper down still, I actually would want the Audi, knowing the social implications that owning such a vehicle would bring. Or do I truly prefer the Kombi, when given the choice...? In another sense, I thought owning a cool looking van (beats me on why a van would look cool at all than a coupe) would be more practical than owning a 2-seater sports car. Generally most of us still relied on public transport while some of us drive, I thought that it would be neat that everyone can pile onto one vehicle and just go around without worrying about seats and space. And it will be cool to customise the back to be like a home away from home feeling, with a mini fridge and comfy cushions and stuff

First Day at Sch and some Musings

Started my day with a fire drill at as7 com lab! Went to print some stuff. Alarm sounded and a staff member came over to tell ppl to evacuate. Uncle then closed the room. Fortunately I finished printing all my stuff. With typical Singaporean style, no one was in a hurry, knwing that it was a drill.....or was it...? Went to lib, met some familiar faces. Sometimes i get the feeling that the conversations reflect closer ties than in actuality. Will never forget that incident when i went to duplicate a key or something. There was an uncle there chatting with the owner. So i chatted with him while waiting. So he came to the conclusion that i was a charming person. Weird. I can be most introverted at times, well most of the time. And this reminds me of that day when me tpl n lum was sourcing for earphones at aldephi, nt sure if its spelt correctly, but the building opposite Funan. Was paying for my earphone, tpl or me commented on the microwave and all the wines and stuff hanging ard. Apparently the shop ppl hang out at the shop on fri with food and drink. So we just tok cock and the uncle offered me a bottle of bacon bits. Just like that. Lol i tot he was just joking or like explaining stuff. But he gave me a bottle. Funny stuff. Totally random.

Anyway back to sch stuff. I sat around the coloured seats in the main lobby of lib. Just reading thru the syllabus of the mods. Sat beside this girl organising her readings, kind of flustered, well she was. Anw its commonplace to ask ppl to jagar your stuff when u need to go out for abit, though personally i dont do that. Anw i said ok since i was just hanging ard waiting for class n so she went to zap more stuff. generally the lib is a quite place, and the concept of personal space is like out of the window when it comes to seats in the lib. Generally when theres an empty space beside u (esp on these opened cushion seats thingy in the main lobby) ppl will just plop down bside u, lay down, chitchat, complain, fuck this fuck that, all within earshot and elbow range. So the girl came back, but the second time was funnier. Like i said she gan chiong spider she ran off again this time just, 'sry can u look....' nt even finishing the sentence. My 'ya...' trailed after her. *shrugs* Anw she came back shortly and i left so its up to the grp of ppl on her other side nw. Went for lectures, had a sarcastic and another funny kind of boring one. Stayed on for 2 hrs to zap n print stuff. Hope to do well this sem, considering the last was a disaster. Doing a mod with the same prof from last sem, wonder what he will think of me, since i didnt deliver the last time. Will try to enjoy this (last) sem n not just go through the paces....

Musing

What to do? My calling....My Calling.....just to pay the bills or passion

Songs

'Rosemary' songs

Feeling Young again

Was playing toyguns shootout with my 2 little neighbours, shooting at each other, froom door to door. It was fun, no graphics, no screens, just plain imagination, screaming and shouting bang bang bang and real physical action. They broke out into giggles when I acted shotup and dying. haha Old school fun

Musings

Our lives are full of contradictions and it is possible to live with them. People would have different expections of you. That is natural of the world around you.

Regrets, I've had a few, then again.....

If anyone asks me in the future about what I regret about not doing Honours, I would say I regret being unable to do Special Paper in Military History taught by Brain Farrell. I met him that other day at BK. I asked him about the Korean excursion for this module, which students went with him to visit Korean War battlefields. We chatted abit while we waited for our orders. I told him I have been waiting for his military modules for 3 years since I missed it in my 1st yr 1st sem. He asked if im doing honours and for my CAP, which stressed me out LOL. His parting words was 'It's in your hands'. At that moment I felt I had let him down. Looking back, i wasnt really a great student, esp so among my peers in uni, but also in itself, im the lazy student all along. It is great to be able to study in uni, all the ideas and concepts, simply amazing (esp what profs do for their Phds n all). It is also the greatest irony of my life (as of now) to be able to study in FASS n my major. My grades sux but I realised I learned alot as well and met interesting ppl, ppl who are far far more dedicated about their work. Haha sometimes i spent far more time during semester learning about other bits of history other than the modules im doing for. (esp hist vids on youtube). One thing i enjoyed doing assignments is learning the extra bits about history and I regretted being unable to do. I feel terrible about missing out all the knowledge and the little tidbits about life and people that I always read about. That day I sat among the shelves (D-DS rows) and sobbed alittle. I felt all the energies and efforts in writing these books are wasted cus I didnt push myself harder to read them. It's always tomorrow, 2ml, 2morrow, tomolo and tomorrow. Well tomorrow came, today went and yesterday lost. Haha but im glad i was able to help others along the way even if i cannot help myself....

Musings

The secret to the sword technique used by the main lead in the anime Rurouni Kenshin, is not some super fantastical moves or ability, but simply the motivation to stay alive and return to one's loved ones and friends. From all the history books and biographies that I have read this is certainly true. Nothing compels anyone more than the desire to go home. There was this example of sailors when their ship was sunk. The one of the few survivors was a 40ish man who was wounded and lost a lot of blood but he clung onto life hoping to see his family again. The rescuers found bodies of uninjured young men, who had simply given up hope. I recalled that there was a book on a German prisoner of war who trekked across Siberia, he literally walked home. Determination, they didnt give up.

Bathroom Musings : Humans, Nature, Machine, Ourselves

Surprisingly I think much better while Im in the shower, and no I dont sing, unless at that moment I feel that it is up to standard. Anw... Aftering watching Seabiscuit on telly, it reminded me how an individual is connected to his or her horse / craft / machine / person at such an intimate level. The rider and his horse, a chief engineer that listens to his engines, a master craftsman. Passion and hard work plus a sense of kinship, maximises the potential of both. Maybe its talent, though i think much of it is passion and sense of ownership and belonging, like pride. Its all the little details that make things work, like in Seabiscuit, the rider was telling his replacement the habits and quirks that make the horse go faster. Even the so called BIG Picture does really matters at times, but ppl forget, especially those at the top, forget about the little things that make ppl tick and make things work. Even machines can have their sensitivities, go ask a pilot or racecar driver. Especially when its complex enough, it can develop a 'character' even more so when success or your very life depends on it, you become more attached to it, be it something alive or mechanical. It is interesting to examine the relationships between self and EVERYTHING around the self.

Oldies

Bear with me, let me indulge in some oldies

Exam Craziness Pt 1 (Or the Last)

Sat for a paper on Monday. MCQ 60 qns. Pretty alright finished up early. Saw a guy on the right, his answer sheet blank. Blank! It was obvious since you have to shade little black ovals. He had none on his even right before I left. Dunno whats going through his mind. If he knew he was going to give a blank sheet he should not have gone for the paper and revise for his other modules or something. He could have spent the 3 hours++ (2hr paper + waiting/travelling) for his revision or even just to rest. Well I know what issit like to give up on something. It just that its more about weighting your options and thinking about the next step. I wondered whether he stayed until the end of the paper. I hope he left after the 1st hour since hes not going to do anything at all.

How to Become Invisible

1. Wear specs.
2. Have a Southeast Asian History book before you at a table
3. Have a confused look on your face
4. Dont say a word
5. Voila! You are now invisible!

Was sitting outside the library (go left after exiting, tables there) revising, reading my book bright as day. These two girls came along, one with her food/lunch. The one with the food placed the food right in front of my book (they were touching) she was right before me. I looked up, i mean im all right with people sharing the table to have a bite, study or just to adjust their bag and stuff. She didnt look at me and continue chatting with her friend. Her friend probably have seen me and is just as confused. Only after a few lengthy moments, she chatted somewhat with her fren, only then she saw me. Her fren went like 'Didnt you see him sitting there?' I just had to say to them after they shifted to the other end of the table, smiling and gave a quick laugh, 'Am I invisible?' Though im not sure how they viewed it, maybe im sounded pissed or something but i was just laughing it off.

Walking Whistling Tunes

A German folksong which my deutscher Lehrer introduced to us when I took German 1 class (aka Level 1) a few years back that stayed in my mind ever since. I usually whistle the very first verse, well mostly only half is all I can manage, when Im alone and walking about, bored and all.



(First Verse)

Muss i denn, muss i denn
Zum Städtele hinaus
Städtele hinaus
Und du mein Schatz bleibst hier
Wenn i komm, wenn i komm
Wenn i wiederum komm
Wiederum komm
Kehr i ein mein Schatz bei dir
Kann i auch nicht immer bei dir sein
Han i doch mei Freud an dir
Wenn i komm, wenn i komm
Wenn i wiederum komm
Wiederum komm
Kehr i ein mein Schatz bei dir

Must I indeed, must I indeed
Leave the town
The town
And you, my darling, stay here
When I come back, when I come back
When I come back again
Come back again
I shall return, my darling, to your side
After all, I can’t be with you all the time
After all the joy we had
When I come back, when I come back
When I come back again
Come back again
I shall return, my darling, to your side

RT

No wonder it uses so much time, there is like almost 60 people in one group led by one PTI. The individual statics were fine, it was quick and to the point. Only when it came to the chin-up stations (wic i am excused muahahahaha :() that the queues start to form and lots of time is wasted then. The PTI spent quite a bit of time explaining techniques and tips and such which I think people has been listening to for years. A brief reminder will do fine....but one that stretches 5 mins or more, no thanks! Almost missed out the attendance receipt part haha didnt realise.....NOOB! I almost thought i was promoted cus one guy before my number was 3SG TOH, lol i tot it was mine. HAH wishful thinking........SIgh have to go 2ml again and twice a week through the exams, fortunately it is easy to arrange for makeup, i.e., shift the session to another date.

Vietnam 1975

We can learn about history through the songs, even the propaganda songs, sung by the peoples during trying times as they reflect what values and ideals the nation-state felt the people should have and then comparing how well the peoples accept these values and ideals or to even mould it to fit their own needs. Even if the context is of war and conflict, it is remarkable people still compose and take part in culture formation, expressing themselves through songs. This is especially so when the most accessible media was radio. They even have dance troupes travelling down the whole length of Vietnam by foot mostly to entertain people, and of cus spread propaganda. (Anw I just felt that the songs are quite catchy)
Both sides did horrible things to advance their goals in war, I grant you that. But do not doubt the resoluteness of the Vietnamese peoples. The final end and a new beginning. Uncle Ho, first and foremost, a nationalist unmatched by any other.

J' attendrai - Rina Ketty

A song I discovered in Das Boot and have come to enjoy. I think the submarine captain in Das Boot enjoyed this song cus it echoed he and his crew's desire to return home after each lengthy patrol.

10 Sept 2009

hmm hmm been seeing examples of PAR lately in the past evenings at sch. Audi A4 going round the sch for joyriding, a gal driving, wif a guy in the co-seat, prob trying to impress. A convertible wif flashy headlights, neon lights n playing songs loudly. hmm hmm n to tink I walked from sch to Clementi mrt..... skipped lectures to read up my stuff n something interesting happened. I was interviewd by a Taiwanese graduate student doing research in SG, abt local politics. If any1 who is reading this, u prob would have been approached for help in being an interviewee by now...haha OH YA was in the toilet n some poor girl made a mistake n came in. Tink I was quite visible...I heard some noise and turn ard just in time to see a fleeing yellow jersey. N in just those cases when the brain rems little details, I recalled the owner was a gal i spotted earlier in the lib. Hoping to sastify my curiousity, I hurriedly washed my hands n exited to try spot the jersey. Lo n behold, a girl in yellow jersey was in a sort of a panic dashing back to her frens. To really affirm my suspicions, (n to rub it in), I asked the grp whether did she enter the wrong toilet wic they confirmed. I noted in passing 'I saw her doing so' n left. I shud have said I was in the toilet when I did! N a sidenote, I saw the 'lingerie-xposing' lead that other day, I wondered if the event was remembered as well as I did by the lead. hmmhmmm

Entry 06 September 2009

Wk 4 of sch now. Things picking up. Just finished a presentation, stayed back in sch till 1-2am to finish it. Had a very nervous presentation. Hate presentation n stuff. Have to keep adding in pts after the presentation cus I left em out. haha. Borrowed tons of books but nt really finishing em. Have to start doing essays now. Feeling alot mindblank on how to start. Have to kickstart my mind soon. Time running out. Brain seemd to have degraded. Cant seem to b able to grasp higher level concepts n express my ideads properly in class. Shud be more concise than to speak out my ideas in a rush. go to be more disciplined. Wish there were more free days to sit dwn n read all the books. Going to classes really takes lots of time n energy. Lots of time spent to find books too. Hmm tired now

Log Entry 13 August 2009

Decided to use the blog as a diary of sorts. 1st wk of sch gone. Very anti-climatic. Trying to get most of this wk n nxt wk readings but library being spammed with freshies n gan-chiong seniors trying to get everything. Forgotten to bring my thumbdrive in which I had uploaded HY2208 E-reserves that I wanted to print in school, much faster n cheaper than doing it at home. Alas now I have to go to sch on Friday to do it so I can try to read stuff over the wkend for the coming lectures. Going thru the introductory lectures and felt pangs of nervousness and anxiety when the thought of doing all these assignments comes into mind.

Was reading another WW2 sub book. It was in a diary formatt wic the British author was recollecting his time in service aboard a HMS sub. He used "Cheap enough what!" in describing a good bargain. I was then wondering if all the British slangs/habits provided the genesis of Singlish.

Being very unactive in sch. No CCAs n stuff. Dun particular like such activities since NS. Getting lazier n lazier since then. The 'stay low n take cover' mentality still ard. Prefer my own private time. Unless it pays $$. haha was telling it to my fren who is trying to drop all these stuff to focus on study. With less n less ppl ard, I started to enjoy more of quiet time reading n napping with bouts of running n cycling but cant do much since the Bintan leg injury.

Getting more n more forgetful n absent-minded. Always wanting to double-cfm things unless its written down.

Haha seeing all the freshies dressed up to their nines for their 1st wk of sch was all very amusing. I prob did the same, but most prob nt. Am trying to see how long I can grow my hair. Saw some1 i knew just nw n I tink he has been letting his hair grow since yr1 ! Now his hair is reaching his shoulders. Saw something interesting while zapping stuff. I had to do a doubletake on this guy wearing a hairband. Tot he was a girl until I saw his moustache n goatee. HAHA maybe I should sport a hairband too. Nw my mum complaining I looked like a girl. That was what she wanted when she was expecting me wat. LOL. Shud bring my mum to a normal sch day. The fashion would have shocked her. Guys with ponytails n hairbands, gals in all sorts of attire.... OH YA my lecturer sports longer hair than me, haha n she was saying the scholars should have short hair n look neat n tidy hahaahaahaha ok I think i shud stop now. This almost becoming a pageful of words. Back to work/play....